I'm starting a column for DEEP Magazine. I am thrilled to have my own column and an introductory bio but the head shot is freaking me out. Luckily, I have some very talented friends, one of whom happens to be a photographer. Rebecca Farmer took a ton of photos for me earlier this week. Just this morning she brought over 12 on a CD and I have been shamelessly looking at them all day. Of course, I immediately posted them to my Facebook account, for some reaffirmation and attention. But I keep scrolling through the album, over-analyzing the way my hair falls across my face, whether or not my thigh looks fat, and if I am starting to get crows feet around my eyes.
Its not vanity, I swear. Photos of myself always make me realize that I never actually get to see my own face with my own eyes...logistical challenges of facial geography render this impossible. It still trips me out. As someone who thinks she has a pretty good handle on what type of person I am, I realize that I have no idea what I look like. I know that I am 5'7", ok 5'63/4" tall and that I have short brown hair. My driver's license says I have blue eyes, but sometimes they look green. So when I look a little too long at my reflection, or scroll through my portraits for the fortieth time in one hour, I'm really just thinking, oh that's what I look like.