If you are male, squeamish or lacking a sense of humor:
WARNING THIS POST CONTAINS MENSTRUATION CONVERSATION
This morning, something happened to me for the first time EVER in my 30 years of life. When I turned 30, I braced myself for all sorts of new issues--grey hair, stray cats, a large collection of empty ice cream pints and wrinkles. However, this morning, something I thought should have happened to me in junior high occurred for the first time.
I didn't sleep very well and woke up cranky, was mean to my little sister without provocation, and just felt like crying for no reason. Well, at this point in my life, I know what that means. PMS Express, round trip ticket for one. The "P" in PMS for the men who continued reading despite my warning, means pre...it usually means in a week, mother nature will remind me with a vibrant shade of red what exactly it means to be a woman.
I decided to drop everything, put my headphones on and head out for a run to clear my head. I hoped to generate enough endorphins to make it through the day without physically assaulting my innocent little sister. Despite the bleeding blister on the back of my heel I hit my stride pretty quickly, felt the sun on my shoulders and began to cheer up a bit. But then...
Well, apparently Mother Nature's New Year's Resolution was to be more punctual, so punctual that she decided to show up a whole week early.
Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. When it comes, it comes and you know it the moment it happens even if its off schedule or in the middle of a much needed run. Men, you don't want me to describe it in anymore detail. Let's just say, I turned around and ran back to my house much faster than I ran out starting my run. I was feeling quite dejected. I had set out to turn my day around and ended up turning around faster than I had hoped. The attitude I had hoped to shake, was not only still there, but worse now.
Since she arrived a week early, I wasn't prepared with the proper toiletries for Mother Nature. I dug through my purse and found not only a tampon but half a bag of Peanut M&M's. I ate them for breakfast.
Now, even after the rough start to the day, I'm eating my Peanut M&M's, writing a blog post that will hopefully make you laugh and believing that the purse is half full.